New Year's "Resolutions" 2018

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I've never been a big 'New Year's Resolutions' person. I am however a believer in being intentional about setting goals for myself and working towards them on a regular basis. At all times, I have a goal that I'm working towards personally and one that I'm working at in my marriage. Like the rest of us, I always want to better myself as a person and as a partner. I have endless flaws in all realms of life and I know that this is something that I will do for life. If we're not growing we're just standing still, right?! Once I feel like I've made some progress on a goal, I move onto a new one. BY NO MEANS does it mean that I've achieved the goal and become perfect at it. It just means that I feel like I've shaken what was still and made it move. Once you bring consciousness to something and you get it rolling, it tends to keep moving along in my experience. Obviously I have to remind myself to keep working at the "old goals" but just establishing that mindset when the goal was the core focus really helps it become easier to reroute down the line.

All of that being said, I think that New Year's resolutions are great because they inspire you to bring mindfulness to what you're doing, how you're acting, your emotional experiences, your accomplishments...

Here are a few of mine...

WELLNESS: DIVE FURTHER INTO THE NATURAL & WHOLESOME WAY OF LIVING

I want to involve essential oils in my day to day life more aggressively. I currently diffuse oils at bedtime and use one roller for pain. I want to majorly increase my knowledge of essential oils and incorporate them throughout my day. I want to get more serious about natural/homeopathic remedies for my health and pain issues in general (beyond oils, creams, mayo facial release therapy...that I currently do).

I also want to try to use more natural products in my home and for my personal care/beauty. I am about 3/4 of the way there for household, personal care and skincare products but am only like 1/2 way there for makeup.

I also am going to try to eat even more plant based meals this year. I would like to eat vegan for a majority of my weeknight meals and limit my gluten and refined sugar intake even more so than I normally do during the week as well. 

EMOTIONAL: STOP CARRYING GUILT AROUND WITH ME SO REGULARLY

I mentioned that this is my personal goal of the moment recently and I'm not ready to move on from it just yet. My two "go to" negative emotions are sadness and guilt. They used to be sadness and anxiety so I know that if I could work past anxiety as a "default" negative emotion (over the course of yearssss) then I can get past defaulting to guilt. I feel like I experience guilt daily. I am so quick to grant other people grace and empathy and forms of forgiveness but I really struggle giving myself that same courtesy.

My biggest struggle is that if I rest my back and lay around then I feel guilty for being a waste of space. If I DO'NT rest and am go go go then I feel guilty that I didn't listen to my body and am not healing properly ect. Jay will come home and lecture me about why I tortured myself and hurt myself to do XY&Z and the answer is almost always "guilt." The bain of my existence is my pain versus my life. I especially have so many negative feelings about how it's impacted my professional life and all of the guilt that comes along with that ride. Like I said, work. in. progress!

MARRIAGE: GIVE THE BEST OF MYSELF TO MY HUSBAND

Disclaimer: he has never asked, suggested, ect that I do this. He's never complained in the least or said that I don't give him my best (because I do in soooo many realms, especially in our home), but that just makes me want to commit to this even more.

I play this conservation of energy game with my back. It's crazy how much planning and forecasting goes into every move that I make. The short story is that the more that I do, the more that I hurt so I try to spread things out accordingly. I feel like I frequently "save my back's energy" for dinner with friends or other social plans that I have. That means that the night before I won't go out to dinner with Jay because I don't want my back to hurt the next day. Basically, he tends to draw the short straw for plans. He already gets me during my lowest and worst moments so he should at least also get to enjoy my company when I'm my best. Like I said before, I'm also putting so much pressure on myself to go go go and that means that by the time he gets home from work I'm hurting and miserable. If anyone deserves the best of me it's my husband. I'm committed to prioritizing him in the mapping out of my plans.

After my friend's wedding the other night he said that it made him so happy to dance with me and that he had so much fun with me and that it felt so normal and that feeling THAT made him feel equal parts sad. I just want to give him all of the "normalcy" that I can offer. Pain aside even, we're only ever going to be this young, childless and free for so long and I just want to enjoy him and our marriage as much as possible. It's a priority for me!

PROFESSIONAL: I have LOTS of goals in this department. It's where I'm hoping to make the largest leaps this year. I have so many ideas and dreams that I'm hoping will work out SO BADLY. More so than that, I am willing to work my butt off to MAKE them work out. I feel like I am staring a calling of mine right in the eyes and I so desperately want to hit the ground running towards it. I hope to share more on this soon.

BRING IT ON, 2018:

What are some of your current goals of New Year's resolutions? I hope that we can all worry less, enjoy life more, feel good and soak up all that the New Year has to offer! Fresh minds, full hearts and let's go...