First Year Of Marriage Reflections
Today is Jay and my one year wedding anniversary! I thought that it would be a good time to reflect on our first year of marriage and share a few thoughts with you guys as well so here it goes...
Our first year of marriage was filled with tons of great memories! We laughed a lot (so glad I married my number 1 comedic fan even if he doesn't want to admit it). He cheered me on as I started a new career (and really has been my partner through that venture has well) and I supported him through all of his big endeavors. Our first anniversary trip was one for the freaking books. Having 2 weeks straight with him, exploring this world, experiencing new things and all of that with him is the most treasured thing of all. We did a lot of fun things, like that, this past year that create those bigger memories that we'll always remember but we also had plenty of "regular" memories that I will always treasure. Memories from this time in our lives when it was only the 2 of us, making pancakes on a Sunday morning in our little apartment while listening to music. I crave more slow mornings with him, where we skip on plans and timelines and responsibilities because doing nothing with him is my favorite thing of all.
Unfortunately, this past year was also filled with plenty of hard times. This Fall and Winter were pretty brutal for me since I was feeling really ill while changing medications (like really ill) and I had a procedure for my back, which involved another recovery. We also faced personal things with our families. Even through the bad times, we were together. I'd be up all night feeling like sh** but Jay would be in bed beside me holding my hand. I couldn't get off the couch but we lit candles and binged watched GOT and made a cozy night out of it. We comforted one another through tears and laughed the hardest at one another's jokes during the happier moments...and that is marriage. He is my rock. He is most steady force in my life and it is my greatest honor to be his in return.
I used to wonder if marriage would be different. I mean, we've lived together in this home for almost 4 years now so we've been doing the whole co-habitating thing for a while now. I also think that we've had a sense of security in our relationship from a young age because of all that we've gone through together following my accident. We've walked through some dark times together and have always rode it out as a team (and Jay has always been the most supportive partner) so I think that there has always been a strong sense of "forever" and "in sickness and in health."
However, I have noticed that there are things that feel different about being married. Mainly, I've felt like we are a family unit more so than ever. I feel like we are The Robinsons and that we created our own little family of 2 the day that we got married. I don't really know how to describe it because I always felt like he was my family but now it feels solidified and even more so like its him and I taking on the world. I wear his last name with pride and it makes me embarrassingly giddy to think about how we are The Robinsons and Mr. and Mrs. Robinson. I know that changing your last name isn't for everyone and its really not about the name so I respect that decision (identifying as Carly Robinson on my own feels stranger than The Robinsons). Marriage has created this new sense of belonging to one another. The day that we kissed for the first time was the start of 'us' but the day that we said our vows was the start of our family.
I also was surprised at my reaction to seeing him wear a wedding ring...I mean it's just a piece of jewelry so I don't get what the big deal when I actually think about it but I can't help it. I think that it's insanely hot to see him wearing his wedding band. He looks like such a MAN and then I realize that he's MY man and that really gets me. I sound like such a pathetic girl for admitting that but it's true, there's just something about it.
Jay is the flint that sparks the lighter and the fuel that holds the flame for me. Marriage (from what I gather thus far) is exciting and fun but it's the constant fuel that holds the flame that matters. It's the slow Sunday mornings and the holding of one another's hands through the tough nights that matter the most. I'll take all of the laughs and travel any day though!