The House My Family Built

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Last weekend I went to my family’s beach house, which has always been my favorite place on Earth. It’s now also the place where my dad took his last breath. Every adorable mermaid-clad corner now also has a shadow of the insane heart break that is left in his absence. His favorite foods in the kitchen, his shows on the DVR...you know, everything that one would leave behind when they’re here one moment & just poof...gone the next. 

But just as it is my favorite place, it was his. Our family built this house & it helped build our family. The 4 & then 5 of us made so many happy memories in this house by the sea. And I can almost reach out and touch them when I’m there.

So much of the pure joy & excoriating pain that’s been crammed into my 29 years on Earth thus far reflect back at me in those periwinkle walls. It’s filled with bedrooms that we stacked wall to wall for sleepovers as little girls who giggled so late into the night that we had to constantly be reminded that my parents could hear us through the vents. Its where I played countless rounds of ‘never have I ever’ in the hot tub with a red solo cup in my hand as a teenager. It’s where I spent my first night alone with Jay. It’s where I’ve come to recover from many, many surgeries in inexplicable pain. It’s where I woke up on my wedding day. And it’s where I pulled up to the second after the EMTs wheeled my dad’s body away.

I remember watching them build this house as a kid..beam by beam. And now, for better and most definitely for worse, I’ve watched as it builds my story. #FromCarlysHeart